The girl was alone. Her cell phone flashed a couple of times, and then went dea. She eyed the cell phone screen. Four missed calls. Six unread text messages. She turned over in her bed. She didn't need them anymore.

She was only 19. 19. The year of independance and nearly adulthood. 19. The year of expectation, hope and wonderment. Yeah right. The year of loneliness more like it. The year of rejection, abandonment and guilt should be it. Everyone was gone. Left. Busy. Gone. It was her all alone. With herself. And nothing else. All my mistakes, she thought, are going to stick with me forever. Eternity. All the childish, ignorant mistakes that reckless youth have commmitted.

She was not ever going to have a real relationship. She was not ever going to get married, or have the many kids she wanted. She was never going to accomplish all the big plans and ideas she had. Never. Because her mistakes are for forever. And irreversible.

Funny, she thought, how suddenly everything was pointing in that direction. The crappy taiwan drama. Grey's Anatomy. They all suddenly decided to come apparent to her all at this point of time.

The girl studies herself in the mirror one last time. She could have been a movie star, she thought, gently stroking her face. Now, its all gone. Never to materialise. Even if she lived, all her past mistake would hound and ruin her anyway.

She calmly sat on her bed and counted out 19 hair pins and swallowed them one by one. One for every year that she was alive. Breaking open the safety seal of an unopened bottle of sleeping pills, she swallowed them down one by one, one for every year she could have lived. Finally she cleared off half a bottle of vodka, for all the tears she would never be able to shed. With that deed down, the girl lay down on her bed, tears running down her face, and waited.

The jubilant pale pink rays found their ways through the curtains and into the house. All the sleepy rooms awakened to the new morning. All, but the room on the third floor, with the big balcony.